i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I AM VODKA MAN
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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