yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
