Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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