Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
