I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
