i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
