I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
