All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
