Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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