do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
