Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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