How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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