ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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