We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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