I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
