I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
