Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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