We're like a lot better than the average bears
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize