there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
