until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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