; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
