Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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