tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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