Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
