I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
