me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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