He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
