Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
