i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
