someone owes me an orgasm
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize