"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
