Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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