the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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