I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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