There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
