Do vagina's smell?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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