it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize