I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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