i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I deserve this hangover.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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