My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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