so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
