I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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