Your mouth is God's brothel.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
