Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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