went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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