I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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