How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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