Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
