those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
