I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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