there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
