I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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