Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
