who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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