All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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