Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
