Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
