Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
