I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
