omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
