True but thats because hes a fetus.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
