I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
