I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize