Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
