I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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