yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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