So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
