I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Randomize
